My FREE E-book for you!

A holiday gift for you! A free copy of my latest e-book “Christmas Carols for Cats - Howlingly Good-Sing-a-longs for Cats and Their Owners.” Go to http://www.kidzbookz.vpweb.com/ to download your copy! Feel free to print it, email it to others, distribute, and take it Christmas carolling with you. Like Santa and his sleigh, help “Christmas Carols for Cats” TRAVEL AROUND THE GLOBE BY CHRISTMAS DAY!
Your favorite Christmas carols have been hijacked and rewritten by cats! From “Deck the Halls with Boughs of Catnip,” to “We Wish You a Furry Christmas,” these carols are alternately funny, outrageous, and heartwarming. E-mail it to everyone on your Christmas list, whether they have been naughty or nice! Where will this book travel? The author wants to know! E-mail me at kidzbookzonline@gmail.com And have yourself a furry Christmas and a purry New Year!
Thanks to the photographers from around the world for contributing to this e-book.
My children's book website, KIDZ BOOKZ ONLINE http://www.kidzbookz.vpweb.com/ offers fun and semi-educational tales, sweet and snuggleable stories, and silly, outrageously fun reads for kidz and their families. At Kidz Bookz Online, you and your child (or grandchild) can download e-books right to your computer to read onscreen or print them out to read together at bedtime. Free e-zine and other goodies for adults! Dowloadable full-color pdf format.

Aaaah... Asheville! (North Carolina)

Aaaah... Asheville!
Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, Asheville North Carolina is where my family calls home. The city is a haven for artists, writers, musicians and craftspeople — those who are inspired by the spirit of the mountains and by the synergy of Asheville’s artistic community. I have done my most creative writing work here. Some say it is the quartz crystals embedded in the mountains. Some New Agers say that Asheville is a vortex, drawing people towards it like gravity. Asheville is a melting pot of diverse energies. I don’t know about things New Age, but Asheville certainly is a melting pot. More dogs per square foot than a kennel. More white girl dreads than Haight Ashbury, our sister city in San Francisco. More creatively charged than the Metropolitan Museum of Art. My city is a wonderful mix of people: artists, entrepreneurs, professional business folks, hippies, and granola mamas. Not sure where I fit into the mix. I suppose that inside me I am a certain percentage of each.

Dog Blog!

Dogs Lovers Unite!
Asheville, NC is the most dog-friendly city in the United States. Denver, Colorado comes in second. In Asehville there are dog treat shops featuring with a glorious selection of canine tummy yummies. Asheville has no kennels; they are Doggie Day Spas where dogs can get daily massage and reflexology. What I'd like to know is can I go there for the day? I had never heard of “Shampoo-Your-Own” dog washes until I moved here. Actually, it’s a genius idea. You don't need to clog your own bathroom drain with fur. People have daily Play Dates in the Park for their pooches. Local restaurants have Yappy Hour. Yes, there are special alcohol au jus cocktails just for dogs. There are dog parks a ball’s throw from your back porch. The annual Halloween Dog Parade offers prizes for the most original. Dogs and their people who dressed in matching outfits get commendations. Dogs strolling in the neighborhood always keep their people on a leash. Their human servants are made to carry poop bags and clean up after their canine masters. The biggest draw to Asheville’s annual street fair (attended by 100,000 people) was the Purina Air Dog Competition. This is a new sport, surpassing the popularity of dog frisbee. The Air Dog Show folks inflated a 20 x 40-ft. swimming pool, taking up an entire parking lot. Owners stood at pool end of a 40-ft long ramp and threw a ball into the swimming pool. Dogs sprinted down the ramp and took a flying leap into the pool to catch the ball. There were tics on the side of the pool indicating, like a tape measure, how far these dogs could jump. Golden retrievers rocketed to a breathtaking distance of 20 feet! I believe that the record holder for Air Dog competitions is held by Callie, a black labrador retriever who made it to 30 feet, 10 inches! In addition, Asheville has an abundance of Animal Communicators. These super-sensitive souls tune in psychically to your dog, find out what he’s feeling, and translate it into our human language. Personally, I think barking, whining, and tail wagging will do. But, perhaps your dog has more to tell you . . .
Asehville is the most dog-friendly city in the U.S. Does YOUR dog want to move here now?

Five ways to combat office stress, an ongoing blog . . .

The events described here actually took place. The names and places have all been changed to protect the guilty.
I had the misfortune of being the only creative soul stuck in an office full of left-brained business types. I am so creative that my head always tilts to the right. My bosses are button-up, no-nonsense navy pinstripes types. In their defense, they are truly important people doing exceptional work for the greater good of all. In my defense, I was born to make the world a more colorful, fun place.
How I had wandered into this foreign world, I know not. What was a hippie chick dressed paisley doing in a world of suits and power ties? But, the money was good, the health insurance fantastic, so I was stuck in a golden birdcage.
Creative, dreamy artist meets the serious-minded real world. Do you see the dilemma brewing? Two worlds were about to collide, and I was the sole person on my side of the tug-of-war rope. I am small, but scrappy, but I knew I’d certainly lose in a fair fight. Well, if sheer strength couldn’t take them, perhaps I could use my God-given gifts in a backhanded, crafty way. I realized it was up to me to do something to cut the boredom and stress in this beige-on-beige environment. Let’s make lemonade out of these sour pusses. I could be a Super Stress-buster, Diva of Delight, Queen of all things Fun. I made the decision then and there to become the office’s Self-Appointed Morale Officer. Hey, that sounds great. Maybe I should make business cards. . .

Five ways to combat office stress_#1

“1, 2, 3,4... I declare a Frog War!” The stress and tension in out little cubicle farm was getting thick and deep as heavy fog. The four of us coworkers crowded into our closeted niche had grown close, thrown together by fate, bonded by the mutual brotherhood of being the lowest lifeforms on the office totem pole. Something must be done to disperse the cloud of doom hovering above our heads. So, I purchased a gross of stretchable rubber frogs at Oriental Trading company (oriental trading.com - they’re the best!). The frogs were long and thin. The back legs, and the forearms were molded into loops, like a rubber band. I had big plans for these little green meanies! I supplied each of the poor, unfortunate souls who shared my cube farm, with a dozen frogs each. We shot them like rubber bands at each other. The frogs arced gracefully across the room to ricochet off computer screens. Frogs We were frog warlords, and we strategized on elaborate trajectories to circumvent cubicle walls. I was successful in my quest to bring sunlight to melt the clouds, to lift the dark clouds of doom. Nothing like a frog to the back of the head to break the tension. I targeted my coworkers butts as they walked by. We were delighted to find that if we shot them straight up into the air they would stick to ceiling. There was a whole colony of upside-down frogs breeding up there. We yelled “incoming!” and ambushed the big boss and shot him with a barrage of frog artillery. Being ex-military he appreciated the realism of our pre-panned attack, but told us we would have to scrape the frogs off the ceiling. To this day the frogs are still there, an homage to oppressed workers everywhere.
Frog Wars was truly the most fun I’ve had in years. Try it. I highly recommend it. To this day my old coworkers and I send each other emails with jpgs of frogs. “Incoming!!!”

Five way to combat office stress_#2

The old brain-in-the jar trick.
Oh, the days of unending boredom at the office. Day in day out. The same old thing. A-ha! I know what I’m gonna do today! I searched the Web for just the images I wanted. Then I printed out several pages of photographs onto 8 x 11” paper. A rubber ducky, a lobster, and brain, and other odd things that will swim or float when put in water. While I was dreaming up this devious, deceitful and delicious plan, I snickered and giggled, and even burst out laughing at times. My coworkers thought I had gone mad, mad in a good way, in a genius mad scientist way.
On Day One, or what I liked to call “day of the living ducks,” I taped the photo of the rubber duck to the back side of the water cooler. The effect I wanted was of a duck bobbing in a bathtub. It worked. When people filled a cup of water from the cooler, the bubbles made the illusion complete. Rubber ducky you’re the one, you make bathtime so much fun...
Next week, a bright red, life-sized lobster swam in the cool waters of Deer Park. With the realistic bubbling effect, it looked like it was simmering away in a stew pot, tonight’s dinner to be served with drawn butter.
Next week a brain floated in the water tank, a la Frankenstein. The water magnified the brain, and created a lovely 3-D effect. The bubbles made this production sheer perfection. I had succeeded in creating a prop for a realistic mad scientist’s lair. The old brain-in-a-jar trick. Let’s see who falls for it.
My hypothesis was that the senior staff would do a doubletake and look around angrily for the culprit. I hovered around the cooler for days, a half-smile on my face, just waiting for my first victim. I waited in vain. Sadly, I was incorrect in my assumptions. Preoccupied with the fate of the tax-paying world, the senior staff tragically did not even notice what was right before their eyes. A brain in a jar.

Five ways to combat office stress_#3

I have my googly eye on you. I purchased several pairs of googly eyeglasses from Oriental Trading company (oriental trading.com). Can you tell I love this store? These glasses have huge eyeballs attached to slinky-like boingy wires. The eyeballs bounce up and down delightfully. My friends and I would don these glasses and go for casual strolls around the office. For extra fun we’d pop our heads around the corner of a coworker’s door and stare at them until they looked up. Some screamed, some laughed, but none gave us the evil eye. Success! I had broken through their dual defenses of seriousness and humorlessness with my twin weapons of irreverence and surprise. One stated, dazed, “Blimey, I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition!”
Score one for ME! Googly eyeglasses: $12 for one dozen. The look on your coworkers’ faces: priceless. Your level of satisfaction and amusement: equally priceless!