I hate my job and I wanna quit!

I hate my job and I wanna quit! NOW!
One’s proximity to Washington DC is in direct proportion to one’s level of anxiety, stress, and insanity. My job was off-the-map stressful, highly political, and totally manic. The higher ups demanded things be completed not just yesterday, but the week before yesterday. Once, when given an impossible deadline, I told my boss that I’d take a time machine back to last week to start his assignment. Strangely, no one at my office seemed to get my offbeat sense of humor.
Under an especially heinous and torturous deadline I was in the office until 1:00 am, long after my boss, my bosses’ boss and the company president had all gone home. When I walked out to my car, a family of raccoons surrounded my car. Maybe they had report they wanted me to finish... I began to suspect something was wrong with this picture. Once, a crazy deadline made me nearly miss my 5-year anniversary dinner with my wonderful and patient husband. Busting my a ** to complete the job, I managed to get to the date an hour late. I pulled up to the restaurant, parked into a space in the back of the lot, stripped of my business suit and quick changed into eveningwear right in the car. Thankfully, the anniversary gift of emerald earrings made up for the truly gruelling work day.