Five ways to combat office stress_#5

Peep Jousting!
You should read my previous blog, “Peep-a-licious” as a prerequisite to truly understand the deep meaning and poignancy of today’s blog. On this auspicious day, as self-appointed morale officer for the office, I declared Monday Peep Jousting Day. (Jousting is a medieval sport where two knights in full battle armor mount horses, hold ridiculously long lances, gallop towards each other at full speed and try to knock the other on his ass. Stupid, yes, but endlessly amusing to watch.) No knights or horses in this contest. Just gooey marshmallow goodness.
As team captain, I divided my coworkers into teams. Each coworker received one peep and a toothpick. Where is this going, you might ask? To the office kitchen, of course. I moved aside the mound of dirty, moldy coffee cups, stale pastries, and laid down the ground rules.
“Each of you has been given a mission. To dominate WWPJ, the Wide World of Peep Jousting. Please pick your favorite celebrity, living or dead. You will name your peep after said celebrity.”
The first two combatants put their peeps on a small paper plate, stuck the toothpicks partially into their peeps, and put them into the microwave.
“Let the jousting tournament commence!” I set the microwave for 1 minute, not knowing how long it actually takes for a peep to explode. Would it blow up the microwave? Who cares; it’s office property. I had set up the contest in heats. The first round we decimated David Letterman Peep. The second creamed Chris Rock Peep, and the third mashed Mike Myers Peep. Soon it was time for the final heat to determine the grand champion. On one side of the microwave, Paris Hilton Peep. On the other, defending champion Evander Holyfield Peep. I dropped the flag (started the microwave). The peeps immediately started to blow up like balloons as their gooey marshmallow centers expanded. Toothpicks rose up like lances into battle position, moving closer, closer . . . The tension in the room was palpable. Sweat trickled from my brow. Money exchanged hands in the back of the room. Paris Hilton’s toothpick lance rose like a flag, inched forward... and sank deep into Evander! The resulting explosion blew peep innards all over the microwave. (Somebody’s gonna have to clean that up!) Spontaneous cheers arose from all around the room. Victory was sweet - literally! The winner received ... a package of peeps.